Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Match.com rocks!

Oh my God. Match.com is the shiznit! A co-worker told me that one of our bosses’ profile was up on the site and since it was reeking of blackmail potential, I was dying to check it out using my office computer during office hours with the risk of him seeing me gawking at his profile. Unfortunately, I never found it. However, fortunately (or was it unfortunately?), I stumbled upon other gems that were apt for a Halloween post.


Mumu No. 1: “Im a simple kind of person, i dont look much on how people see you in your outside look or even your age ...all i need is a gurl who love to be with me anytime and fun to be with...Just try seing me.”


But what he actually meant was: “I love seeing my nipples poke through the sheer material of my black sando. My pastimes include pouring bottled water down my chest, getting high on the smell of pomade, and singing psalms to a photo of Jinggoy Estrada.”


Mumu No. 2: “THIS IS WHAT I LIKE........... SPORTS, SURFING THE NET, COOKING, CHATING, MEETING FRIENDS SPECIALY GIRLS. I STAND 5'6 HIGH, BROWN EYES MORENO HHAHAHAHAH. I LIKE COMPUTERS, MUSIC(RnB., ROCK, OPM)”


But what he actually meant was: “That thing on my head? I wear that as a tube top when mama’s not looking. I used to masturbate to the Universal Motion Dancers and the Streetboys dancing on Eat Bulaga. Now I get off to Hale.”


Mumu No. 3: “Nastyrattlesnake here! I'm looking for a woman who's got a great sense of humor and got ‘all that’. Think you're the one?? Feel free to hit me up if you got what it takes.”


But what he actually meant was: “I hope my cheap camo hat and 30-peso sunglasses will distract people from seeing my double-chin. I also belong to the church of Jinggoy.”


Mumu No. 4: “I am not that good in looks but I'm definitely true inside with clean soul. It's not the good looks but how handling itself. Better with good sense of humor and can perform balancing and handling situations…”


But what he actually meant was: “I’ve never seen a vagina in my entire life.”


Mumu No. 5: “i'm 5'7... i have straight black hair.. my best features for me is my eyes i think. my style of clothing is modern or anything that makes me comfortable.”


But what he actually meant was: “I am Jinggoy’s evil twin.”

12 comments:

Talamasca said...

Waaaaah!!! I want my mommy!!!

Hmmmm... Is it me or does Mumu No.5 sorta resemble Sam Milby? *gasps*

Miss Diss Anything said...

Nah, No. 5 is a lot more pogi than Sam Milby.

ade said...

Hm... gettin' ready for a libel lawsuit eh?

Also, check out The Atrocities of Friendster. Wanna submit this article over to The Man Blog? email them at editors [at] man-blog [dot] com

ade said...

BTW, I also don't get why Bryanboy is popular.

ralphot said...

ade, methinks bryanboy is popular because deep down inside, a part of us wants to be gay (or already is).

jaywalker said...

LOLz ...these are from friendster I take it? I hope you know what you're getting yourself into. Prepare for some hatemail

jaywalker said...

...sorry I didn't read the intro. match.com pala :)

Miss Diss Anything said...

ade: libel shmibel. i'll blackmail them first with their profiles and these photos hahaha. thanks for the suggestion, though i doubt they'll post something written by a girl.

ralphot: as for me, i'm so gay i don't have a penis

jaywalker: bring on the hate mail! the day i receive one, i shall offer goldilocks mamon and gran matador brandy to my work and home computers because it means, just like bryanboy, i've made it! i've finally fucking made it! hahaha

dexiejane said...

good Lord, these "MEN" are uber sentimentals. how about learn to have some balls dudes. i pity the fools who answer to their pathetic ads.

ade said...

Well, we at the Man Blog don't require a penis, but we would very much want our posters to have a brain, which you definitely have.

Miss Diss Anything said...

dexiejane: yeah, i don't get how they couldn't see how potentially embarrassing it is not just to have those kinds of photos, but to actually post them for the whole world to see! makes you wonder what kind of girls (or guys) would respond to their ads.

ade: thanks, man. we'll see...

steel said...

And the atrocities live on! Mumu no. 5 pretty much looks familiar. Perhaps because I own an identical red jacket, and I used to have a 'stache couple of months ago.

Oh holy fuck!