Monday, October 16, 2006

My first post

This is my first post, though this is my second blog. My first blog (which from here on I shall refer as MFB) is still active, but I want to do something entirely different with this one. My identity in MFB is kept secret from this one, and vice versa. So, yeah, it's like I'm two-timing my own visitors. Like anyone cares.

I want to make this one thematic. This will revolve around me doing one thing that I know I do well: dissing, er, reviewing anything under the sun. You may ask, who the fuck are you and why should I give a shit about your opinion? If you find yourself reading this paragraph, though, well then there's your answer. You just. Can't. Help. It.

Everyone's entitled to his or her opinion—especially me, since this is my blog, anyway. It's not that I'm pessimistic or an ace at finding fault at anything I lay my eyes on. It's more of being honest. I don't actively look for a thing or a person's shortcomings; if it's there, I'll go on ahead and say it. And at the same time, if there's something good about something, then I'll say it as well. In short, I'll simply state the obvious—brutally. If you don't like what you read, then don't read it for heaven's sake.

Well, as the Billy Joel song goes, "Honesty Is Such A Lonely Word" (okay, so I didn't know it was his song until I Googled it). Now the song's stuck in my head.

Anyway, hopefully I get to update this daily or at least more than thrice a week. So, here goes my first review...

* * *

What on earth is this? a) An iPod-powered mini fluorescent lamp. b) A mini fluorescent lamp-powered iPod. Okay, you know how multiple choice questions go; the answer is almost always "none of the above."

Well the answer is,'s an OhMiBod iPod-powered vibrator! The product's website couldn't have put it so succinctly: "Everyone loves music. Everyone loves sex. OhMiBod combines music and pleasure to create the ultimate acsexsory™ to your iPod." So I haven't actually held the product so I can't, uhm, review it as objectively as, uhm, possible.

Interestingly, the "man substitute" vibrates along with the rhythm of the songs you're playing. Which makes me wonder: What songs do you think would yield the most desirable effect?

a) Celine Dion's "All By Myself"

b) Air Supply's "Making Love Out Of Nothing At All"

c) Olivia Newton-John's "Physical"

d) Elvis' "Are You Lonesome Tonight"?

Okay, by now you know how most multiple choice questions go; if the answer isn't "none of the above," it's gotta be "all of the above." But hey, if you've got other ideas, just throw 'em in.

But now I'm worried. Hopefully you guys understand that discussing a freaking vibrator won't make you assume that I'm setting the tone of this blog. Please focus on the technology, not the, well, purpose. Yeah, as if you'll listen. Screw it; I'm writing another "My first post" post to resolve any wrong assumptions, if any.

Oh, and if you guys have anything for me to review, just leave a link or email Spam me and you'll die.

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