Thursday, January 04, 2007

How to be Oyo Boy

It's not as difficult as you think.


1. Have a really ugly-ass name that sounds as though everyone's babytalking you even as they say, "Fuck you, pansy boy [insert ugly-ass name]! I hope 20 million stinky hairy men rape you in the...the nose, muthafucka!" Restrain yourself from adding an "h" in "Boy."


2. Try hard to look as though you're trying real hard to act. Make sure to emphasize the "trying hard" bit. When portraying the role of someone mentally retarded, act natural.


3. Have a dad all your girl friends (young or old) would rather sleep with than you.


4. Have a mom all your friends (young or old, male or female) would love to bang.


Studies show Havaianas don't appeal to the elderly


5. Tell the world that you sleep over at your girlfriend's place—but claim you never wank her. Even if she's this hot:


Toilet paper: reusable


6. Have the balls to split up with your girlfriend. Even if she's this hot:


Hey, woman! You've got toilet paper stuck on your peepee!


6. And last but not the least, when running, exert effort to be a splitting image of this fella:


Yeah, that dude at the right


4 comments:

bigbaddie said...

Somebody better tell Oyo Boy the 3 rules of being Darna's boyfriend:

1. You do not break up with Darna.
2. YOU DO NOT BREAK UP WITH DARNA.
3. If this is your first time to sleep over at Darna's, you HAVE to doink her.

ade said...

This guy had the right idea.

Miss Diss Anything said...

bigbaddie: "3. If this is your first time to sleep over at Darna's, you HAVE to doink her." - darna costume and all, haha

nixxx said...

5. Tell the world that you sleep over at your girlfriend's place—but claim you never wank her. Even if she's this hot:


I'LL BANG HER