Wednesday, November 15, 2006

You'll never guess what this is!

Even the ugly duckling had reason to grin widely

Take a good look at this little doodad. It looks like a typical rubber ducky your baby brother or sister would put in their mouths with much gusto as if it really tastes like anything remotely close to ice cream, cake, or even corned beef (I suppose you can say the same about foreplay, hardeehar). But of course, the mere fact that it's here in means it's not your typical rubber ducky.

So, here goes our customary multiple choice guessing game. Is it:

a) A typical rubber ducky—only in not-so-typical gray.
b) A kitchen magnet to go with the classic banana, watermelon, grape, and miniature bottles of alcoholic drinks magnet designs on your ref (or is it just our ref?).
c) A vibrator.

I shit you not. The answer is letter C. And the product name is I Rub My Duckie. Really. "I Rub My Duckie doubles up as a playful waterproof rubber duck to keep you company in the bath which pleasantly contains a powerful vibrator which is fantastic for sensual stimulation which can be turned on or off by simply squeezing its back."

Don't ask me how it works or how to use it; I have no fucking idea. Let's all just agree that we now know why Ernie's rubber ducky is "the one" and makes "bath time lots of fun" (and let us not speculate on how he uses it, shall we?). I just hope that those who actually, er, rub this duckie don't leave it lying around the house for little kids to—gasp—shove in their mouths.

On a side note, I don't see how something that can actually pass for an infant's toy harbor any kinky thoughts. But then, of course, repressed women in denial without someone else's schlong to call their own would get off to bond paper.


Aha! Another one of my posts has made it to The Man Blog! For the one or two of you who were wondering how I do it (because you're super jealous that you've got a dick but I made it there first—snicker, snicker), it's simple, really. I write to entertain—not just others, but mostly myself. I love entertaining myself! So, yeah, being a selfish bitch pays. And besides, I'll never be jealous if someone else's (dick or no dick) post makes it there, as I have no aspirations whatsoever to be one of The Man Blog editors, anyway.

I'm just not into gay orgies. Nyahahaha!


Anonymous said...

I'm just not into gay orgies. Nyahahaha!

Damn straight we got dissed, alright!

And I thought we're finally gonna have a lady participant in one of our eat-a-thons! =(

Miss Diss said...

Did you just say "FREE FOOD"?

I take it back! I take it back!

Anonymous said...

But... but... them orgies are awesome! You should see Steel do his reach arounds!

Also, who wants a rubber duckie as a Christmas Gift?

Miss Diss said...