Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Halle Berry gets emo

Because having a rocking body and being rich is not enough reason to go on living, Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry divulged that she indeed considered committing suicide. In an article on People.com, it says:

"Berry, 40, admits to Parade magazine that she tried to gas herself when her fiery union to Atlanta Braves baseball star David Justice collapsed, but pulled out at the last minute."

Say what? She tried to gas herself? She wanted to kill herself with gas? Can't imagine what that's like? Allow me to help you visualize what Ms. Halle would've done.

Step 1: Make friends with a taco-eating, burrito-wielding Mehikano. Make sure you're like BFFs and shit.

Step 2: BFFs go out and all, so, go out and all. Pretend to be fascinated with his culture so if he asks where you want to eat, tell him, "I want your people's food."

Step 3: Eat with much gusto, then ask for extra beans. Because you want to eat your burrito just like your friend's "people."

Bigote: sexy

Step 4: Strip down to your underwear. Do some exercises to jiggle the beans in your digestive system. Have a paper bag within reach. When you feel the air come out, position the paper bag on your ass.

Step 5: Then just gas yourself.

That's what Halle Berry could've done. But maybe she chickened out at the last minute because she couldn't find it in her heart to ruin her diet with a burrito. Or make friends with a Mexican.


Anonymous said...

Come on. I mean, is there anyone here who wants to make friends with a Mexican? Exactly.

Anonymous said...

Aye caramba! Se necesita una poca de gracia! Una poca de gracia ay arriba y arriba!

Que horror di po ba?

Anonymous said...

Your you think that thinking that of my country are you graceful?
First Mexican & Mariachi don't say Olet that is a phrase from Spain!
No words about u & i had respect 4 ur country 'cos here comes a tsunamy in summer and i don't want peaple die